


Falling into Darkness

by Do_not_careissa



Series: Star Sapphire Jason [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Batfamily Drama (DCU), Batfamily is a Mess (DCU), Bruce Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Dick Grayson is So Done, Dick Grayson-centric, Everyone Needs A Hug, Family Issues, Gen, Good Bro Dick Grayson, Good Friend Roy Harper, Good Parent Talia al Ghul, Justice League (DCU) as Family, Missing Jason Todd, Protective Roy Harper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22689502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Do_not_careissa/pseuds/Do_not_careissa
Summary: The family was falling apart. For nearly three months Dick had watched as guilt and desperation tore into his family as they searched for their missing member. Unable to determine if Jason had run away, been taken, or worse, one thing was clear: they weren't going to find him like this. They needed help, both for him and for themselves.
Relationships: Batfamily Members & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Roy Harper & Jason Todd
Series: Star Sapphire Jason [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1632121
Comments: 41
Kudos: 659





	Falling into Darkness

The cave was quiet, the air tense and uncomfortable as everyone wound down from patrol. There was a strain there, clear to anyone who spent longer than thirty seconds in the underground cavern. Everyone milled around unsure of what to do or say with the situation they’d been handed. It had been there for a while now, for nearly three months. 

It made Dick want to puke.

No one said anything above a whisper as they tended to injuries and reset their weapons. All eyes kept flashing up to the large computer bank set into the side of the cave and the figure seated before it. Bruce had only returned from patrol ten minutes prior but this routine had gone on long enough for Dick to know he’d be sitting there until morning, batsuit and all.

Everyone had given up talking him out of it after a month. It didn’t matter what anyone said, what they argued or did, his eyes remained glued to the screen as he sifted through the day’s findings. Where once the screens would have shown crimes and post-patrol reports, they now consisted of grainy images of dark haired young men.

Everyone knew what, or rather who, he was looking for. It was hard not to.

Dick looked up the steps to his father figure, feeling the now constant heavy weight on his shoulders and in his chest. Watching Bruce work like this night after night for over two months straight was wearing him out emotionally. It was wearing everyone out, not that they’d admit it. 

While Dick normally found himself offering emotional support for one or two members of the family at a time, he had become the de facto support for nearly the entire family. When the family couldn’t look to Bruce for guidance and leadership they would tend to look to Dick. With Bruce in his own world for so long that left that responsibility almost entirely on Dick.

Guilt was a near constant for everyone at that point in one way or another. Should haves and would haves were common phrases as past actions were now being looked at with hindsight. Then came the anger, the demands of “why” and “how could he do this to us”. Then the resentment clawed its way in, pointing both inwards and out of every person it took a hold of. Then the tears, the hopelessness, then the guilt all over again.

The entire experience was eating him alive and tearing him apart. The only reason he hadn’t called in Dinah or one of the other League therapists was because Bruce had asked him not to. Bruce wanted to do this on his own, to fix this himself. But as time wore on it became clear that wasn’t an option, not for much longer. They were hitting a tipping point, and once they went over that ledge he feared they might not make it back.

Dick approached the man just as an image from Russia appeared on the screen, a young man walking through a city market with friends hanging on each arm. If Dick wanted he could convince himself it was Jason, it wouldn’t be too hard. But the lips were too wide, the nose too thin. The man’s smile was all wrong, pulling across his entire mouth evenly where Jason’s had always been lopsided, the left side raising more. Bruce apparently agreed, and the image was sent to the trash pile. 

Dick stepped up next to him, leaning a hip as nonchalantly as possible against the console. From there he could see the untouched cup of tea and the sandwich Alfred had left for him. If tonight continued as it usually did they’d remain that way.

“Find anything tonight?”

A grunt was his only response, a man somewhere in South Africa goes in the trash pile. Dick gives it a few more seconds, another addition to the pile.

“Bruce, it’s been over two months.”

He receives a sharp glare from the man, eyes buried in more shadows than Gotham’s streets at midnight. His voice comes out scratchy as though the man had pebbles lodged in his throat. “You think I don’t know that Dick?”

Bruce turned back to the screen, dismissing Dick who stayed right where he was. He was tired, tired of this, tired of being the family back bone while the head of the family went on an obsessive search for their missing member. He was tired of watching his family self-destruct from the top down.

“That’s not what I’m saying and you know it,” he snapped. When Bruce didn’t even turn to look at him he grabbed his arm, turning him and the chair to look at him. “You and I both know how Jason is. When he hides he  _ hides _ . If he doesn’t want to be found we won’t find him, simple as that. He’s clearly got training and connections we have no idea about. He’s probably using those right now.”

Bruce’s stare remained impassive, his mouth drawn into a tight line as he stared at his eldest son. An eyebrow rose, the only real reaction to Dick’s words.

Dick blew out the breath he’d been holding, his hands loosening on Bruce’s arms. “It’s been nearly three months Bruce. Three month of you running yourself into the ground to find someone who doesn’t want to be found. I’m not saying give up on finding him, just-“

“Just what Dick? Act like my son isn’t missing? Like he hadn’t been shot before he disappeared? Like there wasn’t a pool of blood and a bullet sitting where he should have been? Like he didn’t disappear after I continued to doubt and question him?”

Dick stared, there really wasn’t much else to do. It was like a dam had finally broken, Bruce’s steel eyes lit with the fury and guilt that had been driving him for the past months.

“Bruce,” he softened his voice, “you can’t seriously think this is your fault.”

Bruce’s fists clenched, the leather squealing at the strain as he turned himself back to the monitor once again. Another man, this one in Brazil, this one with eyes that screamed youth and happiness. Of innocence.

Into the trash he went.

Dick thought that was it. Figured that’s all he’d get out of Bruce for the night. It was more than he’d gotten in a long time, more than anyone else was getting out of him. He pushed off the console to find every eye in the cave trained on him and his father figure. Just as he went to move away Bruce’s voice came back.

“How many enemies has Jason made since he appeared as the Red Hood? How many of our enemies would be willing to hurt him to get to us? Think about it Dick. There’s no way I can just let this go.”

“Seriously?” Tim’s voice cut through the cave. “You actually think someone could have taken out Jason? Seriously, Jason of all people? And this person, who is somehow able to outsmart and outfight Jason, has chosen not to dangle that fact in our faces?”

The cave became quiet once again, tensions higher as they watch Bruce’s head drop, his shoulders rising higher than ever. His hands came up to his head, fingers running through and tugging at his graying hair as he fought against himself.

Cass walked up beside Dick, her own eyes full of sorrow as she took in the breaking man. “Go,” she whispered. “Need rest,” she said with a pointed look at Dick. “Not well. Take care of self first. Others upstairs.” She pushed him lightly towards the others.

Dick, Kate, and Alfred began to usher the others upstairs. It wasn’t that hard, not with how exhausted everyone was. When Bruce’s cracking voice reached them, his tormented whisper of, “I’ve lost him once. I can’t do that again,” cutting into their hearing, they rushed up the stairs. The elevator went ignored, as did Alfred and Dick who remained only to hear the sounds of the broken father.

Alfred touched his shoulder, pulling his attention away from the sight of the two at the computer to the old gentleman beside him. “Might I suggest you head upstairs as well Master Dick. It will do no one any good if you don’t take care of yourself.”

“You sure?” He asked as his eyes shifted back to the two remaining family members. It was no secret how much Alfred loved Jason, how relieved he’d been once he’d begun coming by the manor for tea after his return. Dick hadn’t had much of a relationship with Jason when they’d both been teenagers, hadn’t been able to fully understand Alfred’s loss at his death. He could only imagine how much worse this was for the elderly man now.

“I am absolutely sure.”

“If you say so Alfred. Make sure you get your own rest.” 

“All in due time Master Dick. Pleasant dreams.”

Alfred was getting a vacation Dick decided. Once this whole thing was over, once Jason was home safe and sound they would all send Alfred on a vacation, somewhere nice and warm where he didn’t need to worry about anything or anyone. Where he could just relax in the knowledge that his family was happy and whole.

Dick began the trek upstairs, the familiar glass case standing at attention as he passed. God, Dick hated that thing so much, hated everything it stood for, everything it represented. “A Good Soldier” the plaque read. It made the thing sound like a memorial to a war hero who had fallen in battle rather than the fifteen year old who had been beaten and tortured. How much did that hurt Jason, he wondered. How must that have felt in the few times he’d visited, seeing that case and its plaque and knowing that was how his father remembered him. Not as a son but as a soldier.

And for them to leave it up, years after Jason had come back, after he had become a part of the family again. When they realized who he was, who the man under that red helmet actually was, that horrible case should have been destroyed.

The grandfather clock clicked shut behind him as he stepped into the study. Somehow the manor managed to be even quieter than the cave had been. He moved through the old halls, past the antiques and the paintings. Past the family portrait…

He found himself outside of Tim’s door, cracking it open to find him already out cold on his bed. As if on auto pilot Dick moved from door to door, cracking them open, saying a soft goodnight, before moving on to the next. The procedure had become a near nightly occurrence as of late, the fear that any one of them had disappeared in the ten minutes since he’d seen them sending Dick to their doors in a panic. 

Finally he made it to the last room, soft muttering heard from behind the door. Dick took a breath, bracing himself for the coming conversation, and knocked.

The muttering stopped, soon followed by soft footfalls before Damian opened the door with Alfred the cat in hand. The teen was tired, exhausted even, the dark bags under his eyes falling lower than Dick had ever seen them. He’d been conducting his own search, Dick knew, sneaking out to Jason’s known safe houses, his base of operations, his last known locations, all in the smallest hope of finding something. His guilt was only second to Bruce’s, remembering seemingly every nasty and hurtful he’d ever said to or about him. The entire situation tore at Dick’s heartstrings as he was forced to watch not only the father but also the son fall into this hole of self-loathing.

“C’mon Dami, let’s get you to bed.”

Damian opened the door fully, turning to allow Dick inside before heading towards his bed. Once upon a time Dick might’ve laughed at the notion of putting the thirteen year old to bed but now it was just another mark against their family’s happiness.

Titus was already on the bed, the Great Dane stretched out along the wall. Alfred was set down by the pillows so Damian could fight the dog for his blankets. Dick couldn’t help his smile as he watched the interaction. Damian was always so precious with his animals. For all of his assassin upbringing and his life as a vigilante, the boy still somehow managed to love his pets with his entire being and was more than willing to show it.

Once the blankets were won and Damian was under the covers Dick moved to sit on the bed. He ran his fingers through Damian’s hair as he hummed an old song he only vaguely remembered hearing from his mom. Damian slowly began to relax, his muscles coming lose of their tension as the routine continued. The song came to an end and they remained silent for a few minutes as Dick continued weaving and twisting his fingers.

“Do you think we will find him?” The teen whispered as he pet the cat on his chest.

“I don’t know Dami,” he answered, voice just as soft. “Jason knows ways to hide that even we don’t know. We have no idea what he learned, who he met, before he came back to Gotham. He could be anywhere by now.”

Damian’s eyebrows drew together, fingers clenching where they came to rest next to Dick’s thigh. He hesitated a moment before asking, “Do you think Mother might know?”

The question threw Dick off, not because of the question itself but rather what it represented. He didn’t trust Talia, pretty much no one in the family trusted Talia. Even Damian struggled with her presence from time to time, that deep longing to see his mom fighting against his new sense of right and wrong. But she’d helped Jason once. He hadn’t elaborated much, but from what Dick knew she was the one to put him in the Lazarus Pits, to bring him back. She’d have to have some kind of vested interest in Jason surely.

Realizing he had stopped moving at Damian’s words, his hand resumed its back and forth motion. He smiled down at him.

“I understand you do not trust her and I understand that Father does not wish to resume their relationship. I will not try to change your minds. But she has helped Jason before. Perhaps she can tell us where he is? Or at least tell us if he is safe?”

“That’s a good idea,” he praised, ruffling Damian’s hair. “I can’t promise B will be willing, but I’ll see what I can do in the morning okay?”

Damian nods once before closing his eyes and turning to cuddle into Titus. Dick gets up and turns off the lamp before heading to his own bed. The manor is quiet and the cold seeps into his skin as he finally laid down. Hopefully the morning would bring some progress.

* * *

Breakfast, while not as tense as their post-patrol evenings, was still quieter and duller than normal. Considering Jason hadn’t been back to the manor for breakfast since his return it seemed...odd that breakfast would be so heavily affected.

Then again, hadn’t everything been affected?

To make matters worse, the only ones left at the table were Dick, Tim, Cass, and of course Bruce. Kate had returned to her penthouse at some point in the night and Barbara had left for her own home before breakfast. Duke, Stephanie, and Damian all had some level of school they had to attend and Alfred was the one to take them. Their numbers had more than halved yet somehow the atmosphere was just as heavy.

Tim looked up from his phone, catching Dick’s eye as he did so. Unlike Bruce, who was typing away at his work tablet, Tim had the day off from working at Wayne Enterprises for once. 

This of course gave Alfred ample reason not to supply his coffee addiction that morning.

Dick’s phone buzzed in his pocket and at Tim’s pointed look he knew whatever message was there was from him.

A quick glance at Bruce showed he was still on his tablet sifting through images once again. He looked dazed and like he didn’t know what day it was. Considering the events of the night before, he wasn’t too surprised.

He pulled out his phone, the text notification showing the message to be from Tim just like he’d known it would be. He took one last bite of his Alfred-approved eggs before opening the message.

T: This has to stop. 

D: ?

T: We need help

D: With what part?

Dick shot another quick glance at Bruce before returning to the screen. He could feel Cass watching from across the table though she said nothing.

T: With everything. 

T: B is about to drop dead from guilt

T: You’re having to play mom while on the verge of your own break

T: Babs has gone through the city surveillance I don’t know how many times

T: I’ve done literally everything I can to Jason’s helmet feed and the tech in his apartment

T: Do you know Damian’s been sneaking out to search? Damian?

T: The kid hates us all with a passion, but now he’s searching for J like his life depended on it

T: It’s been 3 months, if we were going to find anything we would have by now

T: We need help. Preferably before we have a family wide meltdown

There were some days where Dick wondered if Time could type let alone spell based on his text messages, then there were days like this where the kid decided to write him a freaking novel. 

D: Trust me i no

T: Then what are you waiting for? B’s too emotionally compromised to make that decision and you’re the only one he’ll listen to.

D: U can’t be srs

D: He would never do it

D: wont even let JL in Gotham how they going to hellp us

He heard Tim huff from across the table. He looked up to find him rubbing his temples in frustration.

T: They trust you. They’ll do something.

D: Like what

T: Something we’re apparently not?

Right as he finished reading the message he felt eyes on him. He looked up to find Tim staring at him again, annoyance clear on his face. He also found Bruce looking at the two of them expectantly.

“Is there something you two would like to share?”

The silence was deafening as the three stared each other down, all tired and all ready to fall apart. Thankfully, an angel resided in the manor and hadn't left just yet. Cass’s big brown eyes trained on Bruce as she took Tim’s hand beside her and reached towards Dick.

“Concerned. Scared.” She gestured to Bruce, placing her hand on his. “For you.” She then gestured between Dick and Tim. “For each other.” She turned back to him, eyes begging him to understand. “For Jason.”

Bruce looked at his only daughter. Her hand remained on top of his, small yet leaving an enormous weight on his mind as he turned back to his sons. “What is it you want to do exactly?”

“Um...we think…” Dick began. The last thing he needed was Bruce getting defensive. He was already controlling when it came to Gotham, an unhealthy possessiveness driving him every night, they really didn’t need that coming out while looking for Jason, not anymore than it already had.

“We need outside help.” Tim apparently had no qualms over Bruce’s problems, that or he had finally run out of fucks to give. “Justice League, Titans, hell the rogues would even be useful. At this point we’re wasting precious time and resources.”

Bruce stared seemingly confused before turning his gaze to Dick. “You agree with him.”

“Yes.”

Cass tapped his temple before tapping her own. “Need help here too.”

Bruce looked even more pained for a moment. He clearly understood what she said, as they all did, but Bruce being Bruce hated having to admit it. He was Batman, he didn’t need help, and never in the sense that Cass was talking about. But that was a lie, it was a lie for him just as much as it was a lie for all of them. That thought alone showed how inevitable this had been, how everyone had been creeping towards this edge without the help to stop it. 

Of all the times to have this revelation, it had to be when Jason was missing, when one of their own could be in danger.

Bruce pushed his plate away, his face turning a greenish tint as he looked up again. “Who did you all have in mind?”

“I’m calling Roy later, he’s worked with Jason for awhile, they probably keep in touch. Kori’s still off Earth so she’s out.” Dick paused, thinking over what he was about to say before pushing ahead. “Talia too.”

Another pained looked crossed Bruce’s features, no doubt aware that the suggestion had come from Damian. He turned to Tim, waiting for a response.

“I’m going to Zatanna to see if she knows anything about that weird glowing light from the feeds. Figure once that’s done I can get Kon to go over the locations, see if there’s anything we missed.”

Bruce nodded, a look of resignation on his face as he slouched back in his chair. “I suppose with the League meeting tonight that leaves them to me then.”

“We’re all going to be there Bruce, me and Tim anyway,” Dick offered. “You don’t have to do this alone.”

Dick watched as Bruce mulled the thought over, running the plan through his mind. They had a plan, that was good, that’s what Bruce needed in these situations. Plans meant you knew what was happening, you had some control over your situation. Even if he hadn’t been the one to initiate the plan, agreeing to it would give him back that little amount of control he needed. Realistically they were opening themselves up to more than their fair share of scrutiny, especially where certain leaguers were concerned, but for the first time in weeks they had a chance to do something. It couldn’t fix everything, but by god it was a start.

* * *

Calling Roy should have been the easiest part of his day. The archer had been a good teammate and a great friend to Dick for years. Sure, their friendship had its struggles along the way and they weren’t as close as they once were, let alone as close as Jason was to the red head, but they were still friends. It shouldn’t have been this hard. 

“Why are you asking me that?” Roy’s tone was clipped, full of distrust and suspicion. How long had all that been there without Dick noticing?

He could hear the sound of water on the other end of the line, waves crashing in the distance. Was Roy on a beach? What the hell? Oh what Dick would give to be on a beach right now, stretched out and soaking up the sun. Instead he was here in this noisy café hoping to find out where his brother was.

“Because you’re his best friend?” He realized way too late that had come out as a question. “If anyone would know where he is it’s you.”

Something fell on the other end of the line, something heavy and metal. “Dick I swear to god if you do not answer the damn question I will zeta my ass over to Gotham right now just so I can beat yours, understand?”

There came a long silence as he waited for an answer. When he didn’t continue Dick knew he had to answer. Roy had a knack for this sort of thing, the rhetorical questions that he’d make you answer just to make you sweat. It was always an effective tactic. “Uh, yeah, yes I understand.”

“Good. Now what the  _ fuck _ happened to Jason?”

Dick heaved out a sigh, taking a sip of his rapidly cooling coffee. “Do you want the long version or the short one?”

“I want the important version.”

“So he’s not with you then.”

“No he’s not you son of a bitch. Now tell me what’s going on.”

“...he’s missing. Disappeared without a trace. We’ve tried everything we could to track him but everything’s coming up empty. It’s like one minute he was there and the next he was gone.”

He heard Roy yell away from the phone, expletives flying as something went soaring through the air. When he finally came back he was breathing heavy and his voice was tight. “How long?”

“Almost three months.”

“Three months? You waited three fucking months to call me?! To tell me that he’s missing?!”

Dick flinched back away from the phone. Others at nearby tables were starting to stare as the yelling got louder.

“For three months I thought he was safe with you bastards, that he was just caught up in a case or something. And now I find out that for these last three months not only was he not safe, but you fuckers don’t even know where he is?”

“Roy we don’t know if he’s in trouble or not-“

“You shut the fuck up Richard. You’re really going to sit there and tell me he’s been missing for three months and then try and tell me he’s not in trouble? No, fuck you man.”

Dick hand clenched his cup, the cheap styrofoam cracking in his hand. This isn’t what he wanted, this isn’t how this conversation was supposed to go. But it was too late to go back now. “I’m sorry.”

Roy’s voice caught in his throat, a mix between a sob and a growl, and Dick wanted nothing more than to erase this conversation. Roy didn’t deserve this.

There was some time when that’s all Dick heard. Roy’s sounds of distress filled his ears as cup broke into smaller and smaller pieces. “I told him not to go back you know.” Dick’s breath caught at the heartache in Roy’s voice. “With all the shit that’s gone down, with everything that’s happened between him and your...family, I know it wouldn’t be good for him. But you know what Dick?”

“What Roy?”

“I knew he’d go anyway. Because he wants his family, he wants his  _ dad _ . Jaybird has had the patience of a saint when it comes to you bats. He hasn’t always been the best person and he knows that, but he’s been doing better. He’s been working himself to the fucking bone just to be a part of your fucked up family again. And what does that get him? What has he gotten?”

“I don’t know.”

“More pain, more problems. You realize he can’t even look in a damn mirror? He can’t see his own face without being overloaded with everything that’s happened. If it’s not your old man’s words then it’s Jason himself nitpicking every little thing he sees.”

“Roy, what are you saying?”

He made a sound of frustration, his fist hitting a metal table as he tried to reign in what he was saying. “Let me make one thing perfectly clear right now Dick. I know that you and Cass and Duke and whatever their names are have been helping him. You’ve been trying and I’m fucking ecstatic that he’s finally had some progress with you guys.” He paused.

“But if I find my best friend dead, let alone... _ like that _ , I will destroy each and every single one of you. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal.”

“Good.” Roy’s deep breathing filled the line for a few moments as he attempted to get himself under control. “Is anyone else looking?”

“No, but they will be soon.” There was an unhappy sound from the other side of the phone. “Tim’s checking some things over with Zatana and Kon, I’m meeting a few more people, and B and I have the League meeting tonight.”

“Okay. Okay.”

Dick looked down at his destroyed coffee cup, the coffee now in a puddle on the table. What was he doing? Honestly? “Roy, I’m sorry. I know you and Jason are close, I just…”

“Didn’t think I’d kill you for him?” He chuckled.

Dick let out his own weak laugh. “Yeah, something like that.”

The bell above the cafe’s door rang. Dick looked up to find Talia al Ghul staring right back at him.

Roy’s tired voice came back for a moment, the energy having finally left him. “I’ll do what I can on my end. Tell me if you find him.” 

Dick set the phone down. He leaned back in the chair as he looked towards the ceiling and ran his hands over his face. He was already drained from the emotional roller coaster that was supposed to be a brief phone call. By the time he was done at the cafe he’d be dead on his feet.

“Tough morning Richard?” Talia’s smooth voice brought his view back down to the table where she had seated herself. “It is not like you to show your emotions so openly.”

“And how would you know that?” Dick reached for the napkins on the table, intent on cleaning up his mess. “You aren’t exactly around much.”

He could see a twinkle in her eye as a smirk crossed her lips. “That you know of.” Her hand came up to stir her tea, the rings and bracelets adorning the limb grabbing Dick’s attention. “I do check on my son you know. I’m not as uncaring of his health and happiness as some might want you to believe.”

She took a sip of her drink, letting Dick mull over what she had just said. “Does Bruce know?`

She arched an eyebrow at him as she set her cup back down on the table. “I don’t know. And quite frankly I don’t care. All that matters to me is knowing that Damian is well and being taken care of. But that isn’t why you called me, now is it?”

Shaking his head Dick set the soiled napkins to the side with his ruined cup. Steeling himself for yet another ugly conversation. He began.

“Jason is missing.”

Her laughter filled the café as she threw her head back. “And you think he ran away and came to _me_? Dear, I haven’t spoken to Jason in months. Truth be told it’s been over a year since I’ve seen him face to face.”

The laughter had been unexpected, but her response was even more outlandish. She and Jason kept in contact? They spoke semi-regularly? Between this and Talia meeting with Damian Dick had to wonder what else he had been missing. Was he really this blind?

“I know you...helped him in some way. When he came back I mean. He’s never said how exactly, but, well…”

“You have run out of options within your own ranks.”

“Yes.”

“Hmm.” She took another sip, her eyes taking in Dick’s slumped form. “I did help him, yes.”

Dick looked up at her. They’d never gotten answers about what had happened to Jason after he’d died. They were all too scared to ask him anyway. “How?”

“One of my men found him wandering the Gotham streets. I took him with me to Nanda Parbat to care for him.”

“Wait, wandering the streets? He was already-“ That didn’t make sense, not at all. Jason had been thrown in the Lazarus Pits, his  _ body  _ had been thrown in the Pits. That’s how he came back. That’s what Bruce said happened anyway...

“Yes.”

“Then how? And why would you throw him in the Lazarus Pits if he were already alive? Why not return him to B? To us?”

Her eyes turned cold. “You think I  _ wanted  _ to throw him in those waters? My intention was never to subject him to the Pits. However, when I found him he was...unwell. He moved without purpose, like a body without a mind. He would only react, never act on his own. I had hoped to heal him.”

“How?”

“Truth be told I had no plan. He was unique for obvious reasons. I brought in as many doctors as I could to see him in the hopes that they could help him. He remained with me for quite some time, however my father was not satisfied with his progress. Jason was to be sent away.”

“Ra’s was going to kill him?”

“I don’t know. I was not willing to find out. So I threw him in the Pits before helping him escape.”

They were so off topic, so far from the conversation Dick was supposed to be having with her. Yet he couldn’t stop himself from asking more questions. This was the most any of them had learned about Jason’s resurrection, of what had happened before he’d returned to Gotham.

“...And after that?”

“Jason did as he wanted. I supplied him with the money and resources to do so. The boy was obsessed with learning, though it is not that surprising. I arrange for him a new trainer as needed, each with a new skill for him to learn. He learned quickly, his trainers were very pleased with his abilities. Well, those that were still around after he finished his training. Unfortunately, most of those individuals are unavailable now.”

“He killed them?”

“You don’t seem nearly as angry about the notion as your father would be,” she observed. “Is there any reason for that?”

Dick leaned back, his eyes becoming guarded as he watched her. “None I’d be willing to tell you.”

“Hmm, to each their own I suppose.”

They lapsed into silence as Talia worked through her tea. Dick said nothing as he waited, more than aware of how she worked. You either worked at the pace she wanted or you didn’t work with her at all. It was an easy yet effective way to weed out impatient allies.

Finally she set her cup down, her green eyes flashing back to Dick’s. “I will have my men begin a search for him. Truthfully I doubt we will find much but if we do I will keep you informed.”

She stood up from the table, towering over Dick as she pulled a few bills out of her pocket to set on the table. She turned to Dick one last time, giving him a sad smile. “Say hello to Bruce for me.”

He nods in bewilderment as she left the café, mind a hurricane of new information. He realized as he stood to leave that something had been missing during the whole conversation. Talia had not called Bruce her beloved even once.

* * *

The Watchtower had never felt so overwhelming, not in all the years Dick had had access to the space station. With the giant and open space the headquarters housed it had always felt welcoming to Dick. It had never felt this foreboding, let alone this suffocating. Where he’d once climbed on Superman's back to fly around the station, he now wanted to curl up in a ball and go to sleep.

Between his conversations with Roy and Talia Dick hadn’t been able to bring himself to eat. For how much he loved Alfred’s cooking his stomach was tossing and turning enough to let him know anything that entered would be swiftly thrown out. Even so, both conversations had been...enlightening to say the least. 

For years the family had just assumed Talia had thrown Jason’s corpse in the Lazarus Pit, that he’d reanimated in the waters. But now, now Dick couldn’t believe that story. For how little he trusted the woman the chances of her lying about this were minimal at best. She had no reason to, nothing to gain and nothing to lose if the bats ever found out about what had truly happened. 

And to know that Jason had been alive before the Pits, that he’d been wandering Gotham’s streets, it made Dick sick. He had been right under their noses and they’d never even noticed him.

And then there was Roy and his anger. He had every right to it. He had thought Jason was okay for three months, had believed that he was with his family and they were all getting along for once in their lives only to find out it had all been a lie. Not a purposeful lie, per se, but definitely a lie by omission. Jason was gone, missing, all without a trace. With Roy’s concerns over Jason’ mental state Dick was starting to question if it was really a good idea for him to be around the family at all.

Tim had contacted him some time later. For all the different things he’d investigated throughout the day he’d come up empty handed. Zatana had no reference for the bright light Duke and Steph had seen. Considering how long it had been since the incident, they wouldn’t be able to pull any magical energy or anything else she would need from the location either. Connor had done what he could, mapping out the scene with Tim as he used his powers to try and pick up anything that Tim’s eyes and technology might have missed. The half Kryptonian had even attempted to find Jason using his voice, flying around the globe for almost four hours with Tim with nothing to show for their efforts. 

All in all, it had been a disappointing day so far.

He tried to think positively, to give himself something to look forward to. Within the next hour he’d be in the Justice League’s bi-monthly meeting along with a few other members of the Titans, Young Justice, and the Teen Titans. Within the next hour, so long as nothing major had happened in the last two weeks, the League would know of the situation. The League could do something, would help them just as they always did. 

Maybe his family could finally step back and let others take over for once. Maybe they could focus on themselves, on making sure they were all actually healthy and well enough mentally for when the League would bring Jason home. That would be such a relief.

A streak of red ran past him before circling around to pull him into a hug. Wally couldn’t quite manage to lift Dick into the air but the intense pressure of the speedster’s arms was more than enough for him.

“Hey, you okay? You’re looking a bit down. Need some food before the meeting?” His arms were still wrapped around him even as he talked. Others nearby gave them odd looks as the display continued though most turned away, more than used to the PDA that was brought out on the watchtower.

Dick shook his head as he attempted a smile. “No, no food. Probably throw it all right back at you anyway.”

Wally leaned back, his smile falling as he took in Dick’s face. “What happened?”

Dick opened his mouth only for the words to stay right where they were in his throat. After a few tries he shook his head in defeat. 

“Do you want me to get someone? Dinah’s already here, Clark, J’onn, you know any of them would skip the meeting if you needed them to.”

Dick leaned into Wally’s hug, his own arms finally wrapping around him. “No,” he whispered as he held tight. “I’ll be fine, just need a few.”

Wally hummed as they swayed back and forth, the hall they stood in now empty. A few minutes later Dick pulled away, once again thankful his mask covered any redness in his eyes.

“I look okay?”

“Yeah, you look just fine,” Wally answered as he bumped his shoulder. “I’m here you know, if you need someone I’m all ears, always.”

“Thanks Wall.”

The Justice League’s bi-monthly meetings were fairly standard so they didn’t have to worry about missing much in the first few minutes. Any members of the League that were available would attend, as would representatives from the additional teams within the League. There they would give updates, talk about new villains, discuss possible new recruits, and work out strategies. By the time they walked into the conference room, finding Tim and Connor already seated, the meeting had begun. Hal Jordan, for probably the first time in his life, was the one giving an update.

“-have a new recruit from Earth, pretty recent from what I hear,” he was saying.

“Aren’t the Star Sapphires the pink ones?” Oliver asked. “The ladies only love club right?”

Hal huffed, clearly having known this question was coming. “Technically they’re violet. And no, from what I’m hearing new guy is, well, a guy.”

Barry’s face scrunched up next to him. “Please tell me he isn’t wearing that thing Carol and the others wear.”

“Dude they changed their look a while ago. They aren’t a walking wardrobe malfunction anymore thank Christ. Unless that’s what they want anyway, rings letting them change their look and all.”

“Enough about their attire,” Diana interrupted. “Does this affect Carol Ferris’s position as a Star Sapphire?”

“No. Considering there’s what, six Green Lanterns now, it figures the other corps are probably trying to play catch up.”

Diana nodded before turning to the others at the table. “Perhaps it would be wise to extend an offer of group membership to the Sapphires such as we did for the Green Lanterns.”

“The newest Sapphire hasn’t been active near enough to consider such an offer,” Batman offered. “Outside of Jordan’s word none of us have seen this individual at work, let alone at all. We have no scope for who this individual is, let alone if they’d be capable of defending the Earth in the case of a catastrophe.”

“I agree,” Clark added, clapping his friend on the shoulder. “But we should definitely keep our eyes on them when they decide to reveal themselves. They could prove worthy allies.”

“Or foes,” Batman cut in.

“I doubt that last part Spooky, but you do you I guess,” Hal joked.

“Who else has an update for the group?” Diana’s voice rang out through the room.

Dick watched the proceedings as usual as his stomach twisted and turned. Something felt...off about the Lantern’s announcement. Shaking his head he chalked it up to stress and lack of food. Wally patted his thigh, eyes checking on him even as they both paid attention to the update concerning Lex Luthor’s kryptonite locations. Dick squeezed his hand, feeling a slight weight lift off his chest at the other’s support.

Finally there came a point where no one else had anything to add. All updates had been given, all reports had been delivered, there only remained one final order of business for Dick and his family. That of course was Jason.

As Diana’s final call for updates went unanswered Bruce typed at his screen on the conference table. He looked up enough to make eye contact with Dick then Tim before the display at the head of the table brought up images of Jason.

“As most of you know this is Red Hood, also known as Jason Todd. He has been operating within Gotham with myself and the others there, as well as globally with Arsenal and Starfire.”

“Bats,” Ollie called out. “As much as I love hearing that Roy’s making friends, what’s this about exactly?”

Dick watched as Bruce’s hands clenched into fists. He looked the most torn Dick had ever seen him outside of the batcave. His eyes held on the display of Jason before going back to the archer.

“He’s missing.”

“How long?” Diana’s voice cut through the chatter his words had caused. Everyone fell quiet again as her eyes made their way around the table before returning to Bruce. “How long has he been missing?”

“Nearly three months.”

“Have you found anything?”

Tim moved to answer, clearly seeing Bruce’s inner struggle skyrocket. “No. We’ve searched through every resource and location that Jason could have been at. There’s no signs to indicate he was taken, but there’s also no signs to indicate he just walked away.”

“It’s like he just vanished into thin air,” Dick added. “One minute we had him on the comms and on security cameras, the next he was gone.”

“He was injured before he disappeared,” Tim continued. “From what Batgirl could tell he was shot in the leg and the side. We found some blood and a bullet on the rooftop but it stopped there. No trail indicating he went somewhere.”

“Like someone had grabbed him?” Dinah asked from beside Ollie.

“Exactly, there wasn’t enough time between our last visual on the cameras and Signal and Spoiler’s arrival for him to have stopped the bleeding himself. But that also means there wasn’t enough time for just anyone to grab him if that is what happened.”

Hal leaned back in his chair looking like he needed an Advil. “Man, I can’t keep you all straight on who’s who. There’s just too many of you guys.”

He yelped as someone kicked him under the table, more than a few eyes glaring at him. 

Bruce ignored the Lantern as he looked around the table, for the first time unsure of himself in the face of the League. “We’ve done everything we can think of. I realize this is a lot to ask-“

“Bruce,” Diana interrupted as she grabbed his arm. “It is not. Your son is missing. It is never too much to ask for help.”

“If any of our kids were missing you’d do the same for us,” Clark continued. “It might not be easy Bruce, but we’ll find him, you know we will.”

Dick heaved out the breath he’d been holding as relief overtook him. While he’d known they would agree, actually hearing it meant so much more. He could feel eyes on him, confused and understanding as he struggled with himself.

Diana once again spoke up, drawing the attention away from him. “For now let us focus on those who are accounted for. You need help for yourself just as much for Jason Bruce. You all do.”

As the talks of time off from the League and detailing out a rough schedule for Gotham’s patrols filled the room Dick let himself lean back in his chair. They had a chance, a chance to find Jason, a chance to do better, a chance to  _ be  _ better. Feeling another squeeze at his hand he let himself smile.

* * *

Epilogue: Zamaron

Zamaron was absolutely breathtaking. With its large crystals and floating structures the planet had a charm about it that Jason hadn’t seen in quite some time. Everywhere he looked there was something new or somewhere he could explore. It was calming.

Jason hadn’t felt this relaxed in years. Hell, he’d probably never been this relaxed if he was honest with himself. His life had always seemed to revolve around jumping from one stressful situation to another, with only a few respites thrown throughout. Really the closest comparison he had to the planet was the island the Outlaws operated out of, but even there they had interlopers in the form of the Justice League and of course those nagging thoughts that told him he should be back in Gotham.

It never seemed to end, not on Earth anyway.

While those thoughts still pounded at the door of his mind it was easier to ignore now that he was galaxies away. He didn’t have to worry about unwanted visitors. He didn’t have to worry about unreachable expectations.

There was a knock at the doorway, the visitor entering after he called for them to enter. And there was another thing: boundaries. The inhabitants of Zamaron and the other Sapphires were all strangers, acquaintances at most, and yet they accepted his need for space. It had made him realize how truly overwhelming his situation in Gotham had been, how little the others there seemed to care for his needs and privacy.

Turning he found Ghia’ta walking to him. She had been the first to approach him after he’d stepped out of the portal, concern in her eyes. She’d seen to it that he was taken care of, taking it upon herself to check in on him regularly. 

“How are you today Jason?” She asked as she stopped beside him.

“Very well Ghia’ta, and you?” He liked these conversations, the easy questions with the easy answers. There was little thought to it, there was no need to overthink anything.

“I am well today. I just finished talking with my aunt about finding a teacher for you. If all goes accordingly, we should be able to contact Carol Ferris soon. She would be a great help to you I am sure.”

“Ferris huh? Her name sounds familiar.”

“She is the other Star Sapphire of Earth.”

“Hmm, that’s probably it.” Old information made its way through his mind, Earth’s Star Sapphire having appeared as a villain to fight the Green Lantern. At some point it had been revealed that she was being controlled by the Sapphire’s gem rather than the other way around. Beyond that there hadn’t been much Jason had heard of the woman, though if she’d managed to fight off whatever in the gem was manipulating her and still kept the ring and its power then there was no way around it. The woman had some balls. He couldn’t imagine fighting against the last vestiges of the Lazarus Pits that remained in him, then having them removed only to keep the power they granted. It would have been too much for him.

He turned to a nearby table, finding the pitcher and cups right where he’d left them. “Nis’ra brought some, I believe she called it pri juice, earlier.”

Ghia’ta giggled as she took the offered drink. “Puli juice. It comes from the puliah fruit.”

“Puli juice,” he repeated to himself before he took a drink. “Tastes almost like peaches, but there's something else there too.”

“You like it?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

“I am glad.”

They drank the juice in companionable silence as they watched the horizon. The orange sky slowly morphed into pinks and purples, blues making their way in before the sky became dark with night as the sun set. The planet’s crystals continued to glow in the encroaching darkness, illuminating the buildings and structures in a pleasant violet glow.

“It’s so beautiful,” Jason found himself saying as he watched the sky.

“You do not have this view on Earth?”

“No, not even close.”

“You are very enamored with new things Jason Todd, it is quite amusing to watch,” she joked. She looked back out, the dull humming of the crystals playing in the distance. “You miss them, don’t you? The ones you left on Earth.”

“Yes,” he answered without hesitation. “It’s been months on Earth, but I still…”

Ghia’ta watched him for a moment, her blue eyes calculating. “I have heard it said that the only thing equal to a Star Sapphire’s love is their feeling of loss. It seems one cannot really exist without the other.”

Jason laughed, humorless and heartbroken. “Yeah, that sounds about right. Don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone and all.”

“Perhaps they too will come to understand that sentiment.”

“Heh, I wouldn’t bet on it Ghia. Roy and Kori, sure, Alfred and Cass, but they’ll all move on. They’ll forget I was ever there and continue to be happy.” He looked down, eyes glued to what could be seen of his autopsy scar. “They did before.”

“Will you ever return?”

“...I don’t know, I just...on one hand all I wanna do is see their stupid faces, to see that they’re all okay, but at the same time…”

“You fear they will reject you?”

“Yeah. ‘Cause that’s exactly what they’d do.”

He could feel her eyes on him, large and blue and full of concern. He had a feeling there was something else he was forgetting, something she had planned on discussing before it was placed on hold again.

Frustration coursed through him as he watched a bird like creature fly through the sky. It seemed like no matter how far he moved forward, how many steps he’d taken to reclaiming his life, he was still being dragged back to that familiar hole in the ground.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the amazing responses I got to part 1, this actually came out much quicker than it would have otherwise which is saying something since I struggled with this one quite a bit. Originally this was going to focus on Bruce instead of Dick but after writing the first scene a few times it became pretty obvious that wasn't happening.  
> But now that we're through the angst on Earth we can finally get to the good stuff, namely Jason working through his problems and learning to use the power of love and all that entails. It also means I finally get this scene out of my head that I've been laughing at for over a week now so we can all look forward to that. Come on I made Bruce (and Dick before edits) cry I need something to make me laugh again.  
> My tumblr if anyone's up for it https://do-not-careissa.tumblr.com/


End file.
